Hope for Recovery

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I thought the article below might be helpful for anyone who, like me, sometimes finds themselves wondering what the point of therapy is and whether things can actually get better for dissociative survivors. It is written by Carolyn Spring, founder of PODS (a UK organisation providing support, information and training on DID-spectrum disorders) and I have found myself returning to it a number of times over the past year or so. It not only provides hope that things can get better for us, and that therapy can, in fact, end, but it also validates howΒ longΒ therapy takes for these disorders (she was in therapy for 10 years, but was living, as opposed to surviving for much of that time – I’ve seen her speak at a PODS training day I went to in 2016 and she is truly inspirational). I found myself returning to it today because I needed reminding that I have not ‘done’ the work, I am not done with therapy – if I had done the work, if I was ready to leave therapy, I wouldn’t be feeling like this about it ending. Yes, I would be immensely sad to lose someone who has played such an important part in my journey, but I would be ready to go it alone, and I wouldn’t be flung repeatedly into this state of total annihilation where I am self-harming and not eating and not able to sleep and just clinging on for dear life as the waves of abandonment and attachment pain obliterate me over again and again. I have come a long, long way in the past 3 years, but this article has helped to remind me that where I am now is not as good as it gets for me – there is more than this for me, and I am going to get there.

Divorcing Old Habits by Carolyn Spring of PODS

View at Medium.com

12 thoughts on “Hope for Recovery”

    1. Ooh yes, she has said some amazing things! Which one?? If you don’t mind sharing! She’s given me a much more realistic idea of recovery too, which is another loss to grieve but ultimately healing because it helps me to accept the reality of what happened to me… πŸ’›

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      1. I’m sure you can guess what quote I needed stuck on my wall.. It’s a quote about denial πŸ˜‚ i can’t remember the exact words but it’s basically her definition of DID in a simple way and it helps me a lot when I get overwhelmingly confused to see a simple sentence explaining my whole experience. It’s funny you posted this yesterday as we were using her book and mentioning her in therapy yesterday! πŸ’›

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      2. “this is what often characterises DID: A simultaneous owning and disowning of the trauma, constant struggles with denial and a corresponding confusion in identity.” πŸ’―

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      3. Is her book good? Is it just a collection of blog posts or is it more structured than that? I got a ‘Trauma and the Body’ book/large magazine by pods and it was just a collection of blog posts, I wanted something more informative and setting it all out.
        And yes – I can imagine a denial quote is very helpful. I printed out a blog post by someone whose brain also disappears people and how her T had said this is evidence she was abandoned. It really helps me with denial and understanding why that happens, remembering it happens to others and why!

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      4. Um it’s not structured like a flowing book no.. so it’s not a great one if you want something informative in that way.. It’s more about her journey I guess. Each chapter is basically a part of her process. I wouldn’t recommend it for wanting something informative and laying it out, there’s definitely better books for that. We just find it helpful as we relate to a lot of it so it helps us feel less crazy. 🀯

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      5. I do love her writing. And yes, the whole feeling less crazy thing is good too! I guess I just wondered if it was different content from her blog posts, because the other book I bought was just a collection of them which I could have got online for free πŸ˜‰ I seem to be in the middle of a million trauma books at the moment, but may look into buying this to read during my August break xx

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      6. I haven’t read all her blog posts so not sure if they’re online or not… Hmm I’ll WhatsApp you the titles of the chapters or something πŸ˜‹ I do find it a super triggering book though, so be careful if read during break πŸ’›

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      7. Hmmm, maybe I’ll wait in that case, and just go to the library and get some nice light novels for the break, or stick to my trees book!

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