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We told K about the stormy memories. She said grown ups should make scary times better and say “it is a big storm but we are snuggled and it’s okay”. I think if K was there when we were little in a little body she would have scooped us up and snuggled us and keep us safe. If I could have anything it would be that K came and saved us from all the bad things. She would have done if she had known. I know she would. (Esis, age 9).

Esis wrote this in our parts’ journal after our session last week. And K read it tonight and said ‘That’s right. And we need to take that feeling inside, don’t we, now because we have it now – that safe feeling’.

And underneath Esis’ writing Miffy (5) had written ‘She come now and see me and save me‘ and K laughed and said ‘that’s right, that’s what I just said. And Miffy had already said it, in a very grown up way‘.

Many times K has said if she had known what was going on at home when I was little she would have come and scooped us up and taken us away and kept us safe. And I have spent so much time wishing this could have happened, crying that she wasn’t there and didn’t know us, but now sometimes it feels as though she did come and save us. Sometimes I can feel her scooping us all up. And it feels safe and nice and I can hold the feeling in my heart.



5 thoughts on “Scooping”

  1. I like that scooping analogy. I thnk our t does that for us too. Makes us feel safe. Protects us now. Protects us from bad things. And if she’d have been there when it was all happening I know shed have done it then too. Im glad you have K. xox

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I bring this up because as an adult we eventually will ask ourselves the question why didn’t anyone do that? Why wasn’t there anyone who did come and rescue you? What does it mean about me or about the world that they didn’t? I don’t have easy answers, but I have children in my life I know are in abusive or neglectful family structures and I can’t scoop them up or save them.


  3. That must be really difficult. I think I’ve worked through a lot of the ‘why did this happen to me?’ and ‘why did no one come?’ in therapy now and it is that, partly, which enables me to take in that K has saved us all now.


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