‘And if you can, come back to your goodness, CB, because you are nothing but good. The intentions within you are all good’.
‘Do you really think that?’
‘I really think that. But you taking that in is another thing altogether’.
‘I wish I could see the me that you see. Then I wouldn’t have to try and be better all the time’.
‘I think you glimpse her sometimes. I do. You glimpse that person sometimes’.
I believe K sees good when she looks at me, but the picture my mum painted of me still clouds my vision and makes me think that she is wrong.
it’s so true, CB, you are truly good. I hope, like K, that you’ll become able to see it
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Thank you 🙂 I hope you are okay. Did therapy resume?
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It did! A couple of months ago. It’s taken that long to really repair and get back into things, though.
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I can imagine! But I’m glad you were able to go back and get into things again!
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This is interesting, because I don’t think I’m all good. Accepting myself as someone not always good seems important to me.
You touch on an important point, which is what sounds like the imprint of a permanently discontented parent who constantly needed to be accommodated so that she could see her impact on the world.
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Yes, I think her point was that my intentions and what is inside me are both good. Good people do ‘bad’ things, but that doesn’t make them bad. And my mum’s legacy is that I feel I am bad just for existing and being visible (sometimes, not always these days). And yes, my Mum is classic engulfing narcissist combined with what we generally refer to as borderline, so her view of me was distorted to fit and reflect her view of herself.
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Yes, it probably was. A don’t think my intentions are always good either.
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you’re one of the best people I know. and to reference the above, no that doesn’t mean ‘all’ good. but.. significantly more than good enough, and significantly GOODER than anyone else I know
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GOODER 💖💖💖
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