I am in my mid 30s and riding the solo parent rollercoaster whilst also trying to heal from complex trauma and a dissociative disorder caused by abusive and neglectful parenting and the legacy of a mentally ill and narcissistic mother. I’ve been in therapy for just over 3 years with my amazing therapist, K. It’s been a bumpy old ride but I *think* I am now through the other side of the major transference and attachment work with her, which I never would have thought possible even six months ago. This means I am now able to really take in therapy and what I get from the therapeutic relationship K and I have, without being constantly plunged into attachment panic and despair. I still have a lot of work to do but I am more stable now than I’ve been throughout my entire life, and engaging in much healthier coping strategies when emotional crisis hits.
When I’m not working or parenting I love singing, riding my bike, yoga, writing, being with my pets and spending time with my daughter where we can really be together. I love being by the sea and in wild places in nature where I can feel the sun on my face and look up to see the sky through the trees. I am convinced (some days at least, other days not so much…) that there is more to life for survivors of childhood emotional abuse and neglect than attachment pain, destructive urges, suicidality, emotional turmoil and overwhelming feelings of pain and loss and longing. I hope that the things I love, and working hard in therapy, will help me get to that better place, and that this blog will help hold me during the process. I have gained so much from reading the parts of their journey others share on here, and blogging has been an incredible source of support and clarity for me over the past year.