Can’t survive this

I cannot survive this. I cannot survive the loss of K. I cannot get all I need and want from her to sustain me for the rest of my life in less than 6 months. This pain is going to kill me. I cannot survive. I can’t.

Please let me die.

It doesn’t matter that she made a mistake or is reducing my session time. It matters that she is ill and she is going away and from December I will never see her again.

She is the mother I never had and always needed and I have 6 months of working with her and then we will say goodbye and never see each other again. And I will be in her heart forever but she will not be part of my life anymore and I will not be part of hers. She will never get to hear who we all become. I will have to live the rest of my life without her.

It is like losing my Mum but worse because K is warm and good and honest and sees the best in me.

I cannot survive.

Even blood cannot wash this pain away.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.